kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
