Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
