there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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