Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
