mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
