you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
