Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
