He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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