Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
