I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Congratulations! We have a period
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