If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
