ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
