she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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