hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
