I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
