i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Randomize
