And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
