what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
