the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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