yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wakey wakey hands off snakey
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
