i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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