yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
