I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
