Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
