these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
