Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
