Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
