I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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