I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
