He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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