Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
