I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
