So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
