I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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