that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
