? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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