You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
