the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
