Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Let's paint friendship bongs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
