Non-Jews are for practice
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
