My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
