I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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