Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
