Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
