omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
