the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
