then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
