Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
