turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
