My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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