it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
