mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
