I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
