don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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