If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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